Ambulance is the latest release from the master of Bayhem, the man who uses explosions like Martin Scorsese uses Robert De Niro, Michael Bay. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal (Nightcrawler, Spider-Man: Far From Home) and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (Us, Candyman) as two adopted brothers. Will Sharp (Mateen) is a decorated veteran who needs money for his wife’s medical bills. He asks Danny (Gyllenhaal), a career criminal, like their father, for help. Instead of a loan, Danny offers Will a score to the tune of $32m; the biggest bank heist in LA history.

I avoided any trailers for this as it was going around on Twitter that the trailer is basically a truncated version of the film, so this was a blind watch for me, and while I could’ve (and did) guess exactly how the story was going to go regardless, I actually enjoyed the journey this movie took me on. Now, of course I am speaking relatively here. This is no Heat. Hell, it’s not even Den of Thieves. But what it is is an enjoyable heist movie while also being basically Michael Bay’s version of a single-location film, as the majority of the 2hr 15m runtime (more on that later) is spent inside the titular vehicle.

Like, that’s the craziest part. This film is more than two hours long and the majority of it, like 80%, is a police chase. And yet, it doesn’t really get old. Does it go way over-the-top at points, feeling like a movie version of a Grand Theft Auto mission? Absolutely. But it also never gets boring, which is always a risk in a single-location movie, and even more risky when you realise that Bay is not the best storyteller behind a camera. But the story constantly changes things up to keep it fresh, and for the most part, it works.

Actually forget everything I just said (don’t actually, it’s a figure of speech). The craziest part of Ambulance is that it is actually Michael Bay’s highest rated film on Rotten Tomatoes with a rating of 69% (noice!). The Rock (the movie, not the terrible actor) which is actually Bay’s best film, comes in just behind Ambulance with 68% and then the rest are around 50% or lower.

Now, this review has been mostly positive, which would make you think this movie is actually good. And if we are talking on a “Bay Scale” if you will, then sure, it’s pretty decent. It’s not as good as the aforementioned The Rock, or Armageddon, or either of his Bad Boys movies. But it’s much better than any Transformers sequel. Also 6 Underground, Bay’s previous film. But in the grand scheme of things, I would put this under the umbrella of “enjoyable bad movie.”

As I alluded to earlier, the film is too long. While it’s never boring, it is still to the detriment of the film that it is over two hours long. There is time spent developing characters that nobody cares about. They introduce a character who has a history with Danny, but in reality, their inclusion is trivial at best, and completely unnecessary and lazy at worst. You cut anything involving that character and some of the other scenes that don’t matter (and there are a few) and automatically, this becomes a tighter film.

Add to that the usual Bay-isms that plague all of his movies. Granted, they aren’t in here nearly as often but this has the same old cringey dialogue at points, terrible decisions by characters, and crazy over-the-top camera decisions. It seems as though Bay just got a drone because there are SO MANY drone shots in the movie. A couple of them look really cool but most of them are just so unnecessary, and they get a bit shaky at points as well.

So if you are looking for another version of Heat or Den of Thieves, look elsewhere. If you are after peak Bay, like The Rock or Armageddon, then just watch either of those again. But if you are curious about what Michael Bay has been up to and/or have a couple of hours to kill and want to watch an enjoyable Jake Gyllenhaal performance, then this could be up your alley. Just make sure you turn your brain off before watching.