Y’all know the drill by now. Carl and I, with the help of the TwitterVerse are finding the greatest action star, both man and woman. If you wanna check out the matchups of the second round so far, click here. But if you’re all caught up, check out the next wave of matchups below.
2. Sylvester Stallone vs 15. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson
Sly had a pretty easy matchup in the first round, dispatching of Eddie Murphy convincingly. The Rock didn’t have an easy path, narrowly beating legend Steve McQueen. Does The Rock, aka the biggest action star on the planet right now, have what it takes to beat Stallone, a person that some say should’ve been the #1 seed? John Rambo vs Luke Hobbs. Rocky Balboa vs Dr. Smolder Bravestone. Cobra vs Hercules. Who ya got?
7. Bruce Willis vs 10. Tom Cruise
Brucey boy stopped the Hong Kong stars from sweeping their first round series by beating Chow Yun-Fat in his first matchup. Tom Cruise’s match was much closer than most had anticipated but he squeezed by Charles Bronson. Tom likes to run in his movies while Bruce likes to coast while filming his. Will the power of scientology lift Tommy boy up for another victory or will Bruce be saying Yippie-Ki-Yay motherfucker yet again?
3. Clint Eastwood vs 14. Jet Li
Clint left Daniel Craig shaken, not stirred after their first round match, getting through pretty convincingly. Jet Li had what some would call an upset win despite the seeding, deflating the Muscles from Brussels, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Clint is somewhat underrated with the younger crowd but just think about this; Clint starred in two movies, Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can where his co-star was an orangutan. Do you really see any situation where Arnie or Sly or quite frankly, anyone else in this bracket could make those films work? Time to find out if Jet Li is feeling lucky…punk.
6. Keanu Reeves vs 11. Jason Statham
Liam Neeson’s special set of skills didn’t help him in his first round battle with Keanu, who found Neeson…and killed him (in the bracket. He is far too nice to do that in real life.) Jason Statham won the battle of the ‘guys who talk quietly and like to kick’, beating out Steven Seagal. On the bright side, if we ever did a bracket on former action stars who got fat, moved to Russia and became Russian citizens to avoid criminal charges in the US, Seagal would probably win that one. Keanu is an anomaly in that he was huge in the 90’s, disappeared only to return in the 00’s just to disappear again, and is now arguably the biggest star in action right now. Statham however, fought a fucking Megalodon and won. So, it’s 50-50 I guess.
Right, that’s it for this round of matchups. Tomorrow I will preview the semi-finals of the women’s bracket. Until then, stay cool Ponyboy. Peace!